Arabian Sea Housing Program

shivaji

Let’s get this straight. Shivaji Maharaj is the founding father of Maharata empire. He bravely fought wars, defeated mightier armies and was instrumental in the creation of what is today known as Maharashtra. But I’m not too shocked that a man of his calibre is given a place in the middle of an ocean and not within the city. With 20 million people in the city and millions coming in annually, there is a massive paucity of space in Mumbai.

Things are so bad that had Shivaji wanted to reside in Bombay today, instead of the Arabian sea, he would have had a torrid time finding a place in this city. Ask me. I’ve moved three houses in as many years, and know how difficult it is dealing with landlords and brokers to find a place in this city.

First and foremost, your chances of finding a place decrease drastically if there’s a pet involved. Most societies have problem with four-legged friends no matter how well trained they are. Cats are relatively easier when you’re finding a home, but your chances take a beating if you have a dog. But with horses, it’s almost impossible to find a home in Mumbai.

Even if a broker managed to show a few places to Shivaji that accepted a horse, the society would still deny him permission to live there. Because he’s staying alone and not with family. You might be married with kids, but if you are staying alone you’re considered a bachelor launda by the housing societies in Mumbai. Housing societies look at bachelors the way we look at our adolescent days – trouble. And what’s worse than a bachelor for a housing society is a bachelor with a horse. Also your perception building kind of takes a beating if you are always wielding a sword in one hand. It’s like you’re looking for trouble, and asking for trouble at the same time.

But by far the most ridiculous of all problems, would have to do with Shivaji Maharaj’s eating habits. As a proud Maratha warrior, I’m sure Shivaji Maharaj has fine taste in non-vegetarian food. But little would he know that this would be his one of his biggest undoings in a progressive city for which he laid the foundations. Non-vegetarians are considered impure people with loose morals by some societies. Even if you promise to not cook meat at home, your Swiggy and Zomato orders are thoroughly checked at the security gate before being allowed inside. And there’s no way a Maratha warrior can or should survive without non vegetarian food.

However, I just don’t understand why the internet is up in arms against the government for sanctioning Rs 3900 Cr for the project. Are you guys out of your mind? Do the math and you will understand that it is pittance. Rs 3900 Cr for 42 acres of land. That is roughly Rs 93 crores per acre. The going rate at Worli currently stands at Rs 230 Cr per acre. That’s almost twice Shivaji Maharaj’s budget. I mean, look, once I’ve had to push my budget by 20% for a house in Mumbai and had a terrible time keeping myself from drowning in debt. But stretching your budget by 100% is just not viable. You know what makes life tougher, brokerage. Unlike in other cities, brokerage in Mumbai is not a one time thing. You have to pay them every eleven months, else they’ll render you homeless. And there’s no way you on earth you can escape this extortion racket. Not even if you have a sword and horse by your side. They will hunt you down and get the money out of you.

So everyone cribbing about this project, it’s time to rethink what you’re doing. Rs 3900 Crore is actually not a lot of money in Bombay if one needs to space. The middle class have absolutely nowhere to go in this city. It’s no wonder they are being driven out of their homes and into the sea.