My Hero

Vijay Mallya is my hero.

I can’t withdraw more than 20,000 rupees a day from my account. He withdrew 215 Cr and left the country.

The minimum account balance I need to maintain is 0. But he can maintain a minimum balance of Rs -1500 Cr.

I work quite hard but my last birthday party was thrown by a friend on his brother-in-law’s terrace; I spent 200 bucks on cab. When he turned 60 this year he burnt 90 Cr on his birthday party on a private island in Goa, and flew down Enrique.

I pay my modest EMI on time fearing phone calls and letters from the bank. He owes Rs 7000 Cr to 17 banks and nobody knows on which number he’s available or where to send the damned letters.

If I owed the amount of money he owed, I would have taken a bus or hitched a drive for free (to save whatever little I have left) to escape my debtors. But he took a chartered jet and flew to a private estate near London.

Yet, everybody else is too busy calling him a huge failure. They’re cracking bankruptcy jokes, poor man jokes, fat man jokes and absconder jokes on him. Let me break this to all of you. The joke, is actually on you guys. If you ask me, he’s not a failure; he’s the biggest f**king success story today.

No matter what they say, you’re my hero, Dr Vijay Mallya. Sleep well, chief. You’ve earned it.

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